The glow of the television lulls me between sleep and awake. I see your greasy hair and white, straight teeth smiling at me. You tell me how it should be, but you know nothing. You delve into specifics that you think you are an expert on when all you truly know about is how to be a salesman.

As I grow up, I realize more and more that I don’t know shit. There is something inside me that wants to share that sentiment with everyone else. Let’s not know anything together and love each other as we do it.

Please click below to see Mark and I perform “Weary Hands” in his basement:

Weary Hands from Josh Mickelson on Vimeo.

V1

You reached through the clouds to me,

You filled my lungs with praise

Now my heart will sing your name

And Spread it through the Earth

Chorus

Just rivers turn to sea

Your love flows through me

And you crossed the grave

To touch humanity

V2

Like the sea reflects the sky

I’ll be your face to men

And when I fall I’ll reach to you

I’ll stand and look to you

Chorus

Just rivers turn to sea

Your love flows through me

And you crossed the grave

To touch humanity

As many of you know, I am working on writing a worship album with my friend Mark Thomas. I am going to use my blog to post some of the lyrics I have written for it. I fully realize that a lot of people will be uninterested in reading these, and I am totally ok with that. Congregational music is a tricky beast. You have to write something heartfelt and inspired, yet it needs to be easy for a community to participate in. there is this balance that needs to be felt in the song. Hopefully I am capturing that in these.

Verse 1:

In the shadow of your heart

I hear you whisper in the wind

Here’s my heart for you to mend

Take my life and make it whole.

Chorus:

I’ll raise my weary hands to the sky

And sing my praise to the Lord on high

Through your blood my ransom paid

Jesus, you have made a way.

Verse 2:

Lord, the fullness of your love

Is like the vastness of the sky

Lord, the thunder of your voice

Will shake our sleeping souls to life

Chorus:

I’ll raise my weary hands to the sky

And sing my praise to the Lord on high

Through your blood my ransom paid

Jesus, you have made a way.

Bridge:

Abba Father, I surrender.

In an effort to get closer to God, monks would shave their heads and lock themselves away in solitude in an effort to hear God’s voice. Living on the bare essentials, they would listen for his voice.

I feel like there needs to be a similar stripping in my life. Mainly in the area of my mouth. I need to be simple with my words, and not speculate so much out loud. I have recently been a victim of idle words, and I now feel the pain that they can bring. I don’t want to be the causer of that pain.

The truth is, I don’t know anything. I don’t truly know anyone. So what do I have to speculate on? George Orwell once wrote an entire essay on being simple and direct with one’s language. This is resonating deep in my soul right now.

I ask for the forgiveness of anyone that I have wronged with my words. I want to fill this earth with love and truth, and that starts with my mouth.

I am sorry for my lack of blogging lately, I have made my life so busy that certain creative outlets are suffering (like the Kevlar beard).

Anyway, I watched the documentary on Leonard Cohen called I’m Your Man. It features artists such as U2, Nick Cave,Antony, Rufus and Martha Wainwright playing the songs of Mr. Cohen, along with a nice ongoing interview with the man himself throughout the film.

Maybe it was the fact that I was really exhausted or that I have felt a bit dry lately, however I must say, this film was very inspiring for me. To see a man who can hardly sing, yet is considered one of the most prolific song writers of our time. I am going to paraphrase Bono here: “There are carpenters, office workers and public officials out there. Mr. Cohen is a songwriter. That is his job. He sweats over every single line he has ever written and will spend years working on one song”. I have to say, I wish I had that kind of patience and work ethic. My current song writing seems to just kind of come in spurts, I would really like to start pushing through those moments of un-inspiration.

Leonard also mentioned in this documentary that a big breakthrough in his writing came when he came to the realization that he didn’t need to be the hero of every poem. It’s ok to be weak, it’s ok to be imperfect and it’s ok to be faulted. This really struck a chord with me. Too often, we want to roll into every piece of art like a troubadour with all of the answers. It’s ok to just imagine and be fragile.

Anyway, check out this film if you get a chance!\

David Bazan – House Show (4/16/09 Denver, CO)

This is the house show that was in my living room. There were approximately 50 of us huddled around David as he sang us his music. It was a really special evening that I will remember for the rest of my life.

The tracks are unmastered, so the volume is a bit low, but they sound good and convey the feel of the evening quite well. We used a Protools Digi 002 set up with a matched set of Audio Technica 4050s.  Thanks to Mark Thomas for his recording set up. Just download this file and un-zip it:

http://www.mediafire.com/?nmmhjiyqwuz

Tracklist:

1. Graduation
2. Please, Baby, Please
3. Priests and Paramedics
4. The Man in Me (Dylan cover)
5. Curse Your Branches
6. Harmless Sparks Fewer Broken Pieces
7. Transcontinental
8. When We Fell
9. Options
10. Bearing Witness
11. Weeds in the Wheat
12. Cold Beer and Cigarettes
13. In Stitches
14. Hallelujah (Cohen cover)

I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to share this conversation with you all. I feel like it could encourage others as well.

[11:29] pinchblistering@gmail.com: man I have felt beat up spiritually lately.
[11:29] pinchblistering@gmail.com: I feel like I am spinning my tires.
[11:29] pinchblistering@gmail.com: I am trying to grow in my faith and theology, but as I develop more and more questions with vague answers, I wonder why the questions are there in the first place, ya know?
[11:30] christopher newgent: you, too?
[11:30] pinchblistering@gmail.com: it’s like we made up this god that is an image of us, and are inventing a religion as we go
[11:30] christopher newgent: it really seems that way if you look to the modern church to figure it out. i mean, the modern church thinks Jesus was a white dude.
[11:31] christopher newgent: not that you’re looking to that to figure it out, but even if you’re not, it’s hard not to at least have some of that creep in while searching, simply because that’s all you’ve known.
[11:31] pinchblistering@gmail.com: exactly…
[11:34] christopher newgent: i fell into the same trap years ago, man. and still come close to falling in now…
[11:35] pinchblistering@gmail.com: yea, it’s tough
[11:35] christopher newgent: what pulled me back to the faith though was my old pastor reminding me that really, all of those vagaries don’t really matter. there were only 3 things Jesus asks of us:
[11:35] pinchblistering@gmail.com: christianity is messy
[11:36] christopher newgent: 1) believe in Him and what He did for us.
[11:36] christopher newgent: 2) love our neighbors as ourselves.
[11:36] christopher newgent: and 3) (which i believe is actually subsumed by 2) to spread the good news of who He was and is.
[11:36] christopher newgent: hehe. humanity is messy.
[11:37] pinchblistering@gmail.com: that is so true, and oddly encouraging
[11:37] christopher newgent: those are the only 3 things Jesus specifically says to us.
[11:38] christopher newgent: whether we believe in predet or free will, the nature of heaven/hell, etc.. that’s not for us to really figure out yet.
[11:39] christopher newgent: that’s not to say that we should just remain stupid and not search, but that we should be humble enough to recognize our humanity, that we aren’t yet supposed to know what heaven looks like, or what His plan is, or if He is maybe more of a tactitian than a strategist, you know?
[11:40] pinchblistering@gmail.com: totally

I might as well admit it
Like I’ve even got a choice
The crew have killed the captain
But they still can hear his voice
A shadow on the water
A whisper in the wind
On long walks my with daughter
Who is lately full of questions
About you
About you

-David Bazan

I was thinking that the album for the worship album we are writing should look like this: